If you ever find yourself starting off by saying: “Not to be XXXX, but…” just stop. Because yes, you are about to be XXXX, whether that’s rude, or mean, or racist, you are totes about to be it and you are not fooling anyone by saying that phrase as a disclaimer. I’m sorry, but just because you are backwardly announcing that you are about to be a jerk, it doesn’t give you free reign to be a jerk. In fact, if you know you are going to say something wrong- either mean, or rude, or whatever it may be- then why don’t you just take a second to look at yourself and why you even feel the need to say something that needs a b.s. qualifier like that to make it acceptable. You should just stop being a jerk.
I’ve been thinking about that phrase lately because of the rash of sh*t girls say videos. I haven’t watched all of them, but I have seen the one about what white girls say to black girls and that was a good way of demonstrating that phrase at work. “Not to be racist, but…” but I’m totally going to be racist and it’s okay because I just said it wasn’t racist. Life doesn’t work that way and you’re not fooling anyone. So already, the phrase was on my mind and I was annoyed with it. And then someone threw it in my face today. “Not to sound short, but” I’m going to be a dick because you did something slightly aggravating and I have an admittedly horrible temper, but I’m still going to say something to make you feel horrible for the rest of the day because I am slightly annoyed and I can. I’m sorry, but if you’re in an important place where cell phones are not allowed, turn the phone on vibrate. I’m so sorry that you just played your move in Words with Friends from your phone 4 minutes prior and I thought it wouldn’t be a DEADLY offense to send you a text message when the world has created wonderful switches on our phone to put them on vibrate with amazing ease, or to silence them by clicking the volume button down. You have a smart phone, you’ve had it for a while, I’m pretty sure you know what vibrate is.
And no, I didn’t HAVE to send you that text, but do I HAVE to do anything? Do I have to text you ever, or call you, or see you? No, I don’t and I’m beginning to think that’s what you’d prefer. Do I have to even exist? No, I don’t have to exist and thank you SO much for reminding me of that. I really needed you specifically to make me feel like dying for sending you an innocent text at a maybe not so great time. I’m so glad your overreaction justifies you making me want to die. I’m so glad you felt the need to say that to me. And I’m so glad you prefaced it with that phrase to make it okay.
And maybe my feeling now is an overreaction, but hate breeds hate. You know I’ve been having a not so great time. But you don’t think about that do you? As long as I’m bubbly, you’re happy. Your brother complained that his girlfriend was selfish. I’m sure you feel the same way about other people, that they are selfish. But do you know who usually says other people are selfish? Selfish people. Instead of feeling self-righteously angry that I made your phone go off in an inconvenient situation, look at yourself. You should’ve turned it off if it was that big of a deal. You only care about what inconveniences you, not how YOUR words and actions inconvenience or, heaven forbid, HURT others. That’s real selfishness and inconsideration. Sorry for existing in your life. If you would prefer, I can never “need” to text you again.
P.S. I'm so sorry to rant about this online, but I needed to get it out. And since this has like no followers, I didn't see much harm in getting it out. Life has been rough lately and I have been fighting valiantly to not let it get me down. I have swallowed my own feelings with other people to put them at ease and make their lives easier. I can't keep this up. I'm not a horrible person to have around, so please don't treat me like I am.
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